Beautiful day.

I take things for granted all the time. I have been trying to correct that. For example, instead of walking with my head hanging low, I try to adjust my stance and look facing forward or toward the sky. I like to think that the world in general is a beautiful place. But it is also a very ugly place. I don’t know how to reconcile both thoughts. How do I determine that something is ugly/beautiful? Is it the conclusion of a long line of meditations that I forced on myself? Is it an initial impression that I gather through a flash of recollections? Whenever I pass by that fountain, do I recognize it as beautiful? Do I acknowledge that I thought at one time that it was beautiful? Or does that judgment change accordingly to every new impression gathered of the same object? Is it a type of judgment to recognize something as beautiful/ugly? If not, what is it?

Those questions will be left unanswered because what I wanted to write about was a little moment that I shared with Jeff Erg, John Steinhardt, John Slover, and Jorell. We (Eloy, Jorell and me) were playing tourist company to Ergs/For Science/Chelsea. We took them to the beach, we took them to the Bacardi distillery, we took them to Old San Juan, we took the route that cuts through the middle of the island so they could see la Cordillera Central, among other things. When we were in Old San Juan, Jorell made the comment that it was funny that he had to take strangers around the island so he could realize that the island is beautiful. When he said it, I was musing about it so it caught me by surprised. A very pleasant surprise.

We were by la Plaza del Totem, overlooking the courtyard of el Morro. El Morro was built on top of a cliff so the courtyard is always windy – Perfect enviroment for kite flying. It was an idyllic moment. I introduced them to the simplistic wonder of la piragua. It was a beautiful day.

Oh, yeah! I am going to go real far!

I love hearing Propeller on vinyl. There’s something about the physical act of standing up and pulling up and down on the tone arm to hear Quality of Armor again and again and again… There’s something gratifying about it. I bought my copy at Reckless Records when I was in Chicago this past summer. I also sold two Anti Sociales CD’s to them. I imagine that they either used them as coasters or frisbees. At least, international coasters or frisbees.

The Egs/For Science went off great. I have so much to write about but I have a feeling that tonight is not the night. I am feeling emotionally uncomfortable today. I think I am just going to divide what I want to write about in parts and go from there.

Hello, big unknown.

Today is the day when the madness of the Ergs/For Science will start. In about an hour, they will arrived en masse at the Aguadilla Airport. I am very excited. I predict is going to be a fun weekend. Though, I know that tonight I am going to be a huge ball of stress. Something will go wrong. Something always goes wrong. Someone will probably forget to bring an amp, or a guitar, or a line, or a snare, or something. And I will pace franctically to meet the schedule. The schedule that I haven’t inked yet. Yikes. I better do that now.

Violonchelo.

The rosary – an instrument for prayer and meditation. It hangs with the help of my rear-view mirror. My grandmother gave it to me. It is the second she has given me. The other one my mom took it from me when some old man crashed into me as I was waiting at a red light.

Sometimes I play with it. I swing it back and forth. Watch it spin. Pretend to get dizzy as I spin it. But mostly I stare at it when I have nothing else to stare at; or because I like staring at it.

Tonight I am going to Radio Universidad to sit in a small room and talk about the upcoming Ergs! show that I’ve been planning with Jorell, Magaly and Eloy. The fact that the weekend is just up ahead is a daunting thought. It’s going to be exhausting but hopefully really, really fun. So I am negating you, daunting thought.

And tomorow I am going to Old San Juan avec Lydivette. Ella quiere sacar fotos a lo que sea que se puede encontrar en esas calles. Una actividad preliminar antes de asistir un concierto de piano y de violonchelo en Bellas Artes.

More opportunities to look at my rosary.

NPN.

Last Monday, Napolnariz was back in business. I couldn’t quite believe Roberto when he told me that the last time they recorded any material was back in 2003. We’re in 2007, where has the time gone?…

Anyway, it was a party. We bought and brought about eleven six packs, 10 people strong, and about 12 PM someone cracked open a beer and the recording for their new 7″ began. The recording of the drums was pretty grueling because Gabi was drunk and high. But eventually he managed to make it through and the rest of the material was recorded fairly easily. Thanks in part to Roberto being sober and skillful in his bass playing and John’s pre-knowledge of how he wants the songs to come out.

John has been away to Florida trying to recuperate from his demons. He is now a soon-to-be father and his dream of being Johnny Thunders is thankfully gone. He practically stole the money for the plane ticket to Florida. The only thing he brought to Florida was a backpack and, within, a T-Shirt. All of his stuff back in P.R. was stolen and sold. It’s fitting, I think. To have a new lease on life, it is sometimes required for everything connected to your past to go.

Seeing John’s belly made me happy. He has grown fatter which is a good indication. I still remember seeing him shoot-up with the corner of my eyes as I was driving through Santurce. I am very glad to have pushed that image of John to what I saw on Monday. Still full of life.

Thanks, P2P.

I found this article regarding the Sonny Bono Copyright Extension Act (via metafilter) to be very interesting. Especially the opinion that great art thrives on a rich public domain. I immediately thought about peer to peer sharing programs, like soulseek. (In fact, I am using soulseek as I am typing this. [Obtaining copied material of, aka downloading, the Hot Snakes.]) And I wonder if the developing and the usage of these programs satisfy some different need other than the cheap thrill of getting things for no cost.

I have been in a band since I was 15 (present age : 21) and I have felt the frustration of not getting monetary compensation for hours spent on forming a tune. I have driven hours to shows without the chance of gas money, made EP’s, LP’s with the knowledge that they are just going to sit idly in boxes, and other activities that have severely depleted my bank account. Yet when I see someone who has our albums on their folder, I feel sort of happy.

I guess it takes me back to my pre-band days, where I didn’t have a template to exercise my will to do anything related to music. Many factors played in directing me to the path that I took, but one important factor was discovering that other fifteen year olds around the world were making music. At the time, my friend and I were using audiogalaxy; and he found out about a young band from San Francisco called The Sidekicks. When they recorded Kids Know Everything, they were in higschool; and guess what? So was I. It was almost a revelation. Though by that time, I discovered that there were things called ‘local bands’; I reacted by becoming involved and organizing shows. But it was after organizing my first show that I thought and acted on the idea of forming a band. Around the time where I learned that other high school students were recording music out of their own initiative.

If it wasn’t for a peer to peer program, I wouldn’t have found my template for self-expression at 15. Does this mean that I have to thank a rich public domain? Even if that domain was abducted from the hands of their owners? I think so.

The Comedy Circle

Whenever I could catch Wonder Showzen, I would plant myself in front of the TV and wait for the laughter to be induced. At first, I was a little shocked that a show like that was airing on MTV 2. A show that pushes hard to be dumb but turns brilliant; or pushes hard to be brilliant but turns dumb, in which case, the original aim for brilliance is achieved when you inspect its remains. (Like inspecting a dead opossum, who some argue is one of the dumbest animals living today)

I think it’s somewhere in between.

It made me think of circles. About two years ago, I was obsessed with circles. I don’t know what brought on this obsession but I wanted to explain everything with a circle. I remember running into an old friend in the library and explaining whatever I was thinking about at the moment with a circle. She didn’t understand a thing I was saying, and in retrospect, I didn’t either. But here, two years later, I made this illustration to explain what I was thinking after I saw a clip of Wonder Showzen on Youtube:

Isn’t it lovely? I like it.

Anyway, as you can see “Dumb” and “Genius” are linked by two points. At the beginning of the clip, it was at one point; and then, at the end of the clip, it was at another point. With that clip, I started on the dumb point and eventually it progressed into the genius point. The interesting idea that this illustration brings to me is that on the second viewing of the clip, I started on the genius point and then it progressed into the dumb point. At the end of my second viewing, did it reach the genius point again or the dumb point? I am not sure. I didn’t see it a second time. But I could see both outcomes happening.

Clip being discussed.

Algo sobre nada.

I haven’t been writing until recently that I sent a message to a stranger. I felt a compulsion to ask a stranger a question. It was a simple one: What made you want to study physics? And ever since it was replied, I have been thinking about what I have been preoccupied as of late.

The answer to that: nothing. Now, I am not saying that I haven’t been thinking but that I’ve been dwelling on the idea of nothingess. Usually when I write a song, I begin with playing a combination of chords; then, I usually hum a melody or sing words that I tack on in the moment. I have noticed that whenever I am in the last process, I use the idea of nothigness. I can’t explain my fascination with that idea, but it is there and I can easily trace it back for years. I remember that the first song I tried to write when I was 14 or 13 was titled “nothing”. It was about being nothing, or living in nothingness. Something that deals with the idea of nothingness. I think I had no clear idea of why I was writing it. Maybe it had to do that I was going through a nihilistic phase in my life, and I longed for everything to end; and that the natural conclusion for everything would be that it will end into nothingness, and I ask myself “but what if I never left that phase?” Which brings me to the present, I wrote a few months ago these lines in a piece of paper without really knowing what I was writing:

Soy nada, y nada seré – Al volver a nacer, seré nada otra vez.

I liked it enough to turn it into a song. I am not sure what it is about but it seems to be a song about the sudden realization that we are nothing. We have a custom where we congratulate others and others congratulate us with being alive another year. Yearly we do this without really thinking about why we do this and why we have to do this yearly. Why do we have to keep celebrating things yearly? Yo escribí esto en una de las contestaciones y lo voy a usar aquí para contestarme a mí mismo:

Yo no creo que puedo añadir más a lo que tú dijiste excepto que es interesante para mí el hecho de que un debate como éste no admite la posibilidad de que nada exista; de por todo estar en una posible ilimitada sucesión, el valor del ser se desaparezca because of the endless into and out from life that everything seems to be participating in.

Sobre caminar.

    I like it when it rains because I like getting my feet wet. It’s specially wonderful when I am wearing sneakers. The squeak that they produce brings near hysteria in me. I jump on every puddle that comes my way. Yet when I look at everybody around me, they seem to be avoiding them. What are they so afraid of?

    Me recuerda cuando camino hacia mis clases. Las personas que cruzan mi camino nunca miran mis ojos. Somos dos almas que alegamos ser vivos, y caminamos como si viviéramos entre fantasmas. Pregunto por segunda vez y modificado, ¿de qué estamos tan asustado?

Comienzo.

La noche no fue noche, el día no será día. ¿Hacia a dónde vamos?